Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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