I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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