she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize