I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
