My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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