And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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