I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
