I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
