im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
oh god the rape fog is back!
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
