I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
