Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
