While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
