I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
