I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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