I just saw a hot homeless man
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
