I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
