New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
