i barfeds in our rink
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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