I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
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