He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
