I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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