I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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