you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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