he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
