so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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