If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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