So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
