Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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