Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
