he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
