using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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