i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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