I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
