I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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