Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
