and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
