that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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