I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
