problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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