Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
