Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
