I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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