pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
