In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
