and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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