I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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