Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize