Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Randomize
