Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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