What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
