Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.

(1-253): View more from Washington

I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times

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(647): View more from Ontario

You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.

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