This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
