Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
God, I missed his penis.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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