Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
