he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
